My New World, #3: Shock and Awe

I received these words from a friend who has been living with cancer for 12 years, and I am in shock and awe.

She said, “I wish you the joy and blessings that cancer can bestow on us.”

Well, that is a shocking statement.

However, now, thinking of the many friends who have visited and the number of good wishes and prayers I have received, I begin to see it.

Now, feeling the amazing support of friends and family, I am enjoying, as my friend said, “the rich tapestry of my life.”  I have the opportunity to manage the rest of my life, organize my exit.  Now, I can spend quality time with family, relive memories with friends, and have, as my friend said, “a wonderful sense of well being.”

Now, I am in awe of the possibilities.

Just this week, I had visits from several friends, and we talked over old times, telling stories of our shared experiences and remembering colleagues and students.  What a great satisfaction to relive experiences through the lens of perspective.

Several have sent me songs for my Chemo Playlist (which doubles as my walking playlist), and yesterday a football coach extraordinaire suggested Aretha’s R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  Now as I listen and dance/walk the trails each morning, I think of him and it gives me strength and purpose.

Yes, a joy and a blessing.

My last chemotherapy went well, and I am feeling really good.  Family continues to surround me with their care and encouragement. Next week, June 7, I take my final infusion in this round of chemotherapy, and around June 21, I will have an important CT scan. If the chemo is effective in temporarily halting the spread of the cancer from my pancreas to other organs, I will have more time.

Ben says,